Grief and Loss

Benjamin Franklin famously said, 'In this world nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.' While taxes are not my expertise, grief and loss certainly are.

If you are grieving, I am so sorry for your loss. Truth is, if we live and love, we will grieve. It is inescapable. Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job/career, one’s health, or any other of life’s challenges, you are hurting and forever changed. However, there is hope for healing and transformation as you find new meaning and purpose in your life. 

Symptoms and Reactions:

You may be experiencing one or more of the following:

  • Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

  • Loss of appetite, or eating too much

  • Lack of energy, or staying too busy to avoid feelings 

  • Feeling numb inside, or experiencing brain fog

  • Guilt, anxiety, depression, anger, confusion

  • Fear of being alone, or wanting to isolate from friends and family

  • Wondering if and when you will feel like your “old self”

Metaphor of Grief:

Grief is like a deep lake. If you are in the middle, struggling to keep your head above water, you feel exhausted. Our culture preaches that if we only stay busy, don’t think about our loss, and “stay strong” we will get better faster. I want you to know that is simply not true, nor healthy. You cannot tread alone in the deep waters of the grief lake; healing requires support. 

Healing Through Mourning:

It is important to know the difference between grief and mourning. Grief is everything we think and feel whenever someone or something we value is harmed or taken away. Sadness, hurt, anger, loneliness, broken-hearted, despair…these are all examples of grief. Mourning, however, is what we do with or how we express those thoughts and feelings. Examples of mourning include: talking, crying, writing, art, physical movement, and spiritual practices. We must learn to mourn if we are to heal.

 “Those who learn to mourn well, will live well, and eventually love well.” Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D.

Support

You don't have to navigate this grief alone. Help and support are available. At Road to Hope Counseling, I specialize in grief and loss. I received my Certification in Grief and Loss Studies through The Center for Loss and Life Transition in Ft. Collins, CO, led by Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Following the Companioning Model developed by Dr. Wolfelt, I support clients as they move from a sense of loss through mourning to one of hope and healing. I incorporate Wolfelt’s  “Eleven Tenents of Companioning the Bereaved” in my practice. If you are ready, I invite you to schedule a confidential session. It will be an honor to walk beside you. You are the expert in your grief. Teach me…I’m ready to learn.